Experts, Routines and Children

On October 14, 2011, in Mom, Second Set, by Jennifer McPherson

Routine. Routine. Routine. 

There is great importance in this action.  At least that is what the experts say. Who assigns the experts the title of expert in the importance of a routine? 

I call bullshit. I may as well be an expert in calling the experts out on their expertness. 

Knight is 4.  Ann Marie 2. 

Our bedtime routine: brush teeth, potty, book, back rub, sleep.  Every freakin night, 365 days a year. 

What really happens

Me or Daddy: Ok, in ten minutes after this show it will be bedtime.

Knight  & Ann Marie: OK.

Me or Daddy (ten minutes later): Ok, time to get teeth brushed for bed.

Knight: NOOOOO!  Whaaaah…. Whaaaah….

Ann Marie:  NOOOOO!  Whaaaah…. Whaaaah….

We brush teeth, go potty, get jammies on, daddy reads books, mommy rubs backs (all of which takes an HOUR at minimum).

Then…we leave the room. 

Ahhhh…. relax….

Knight (calling from bedroom): Mommy… I am thristy

ME:  NO!  You already had a drink.

Knight: Whaaaah Whaaah Whaaah!

ME: grrrrrrrr

Ann Marie:  I thirsty

Me: NO! You already had a drink.

Ann Marie: Whaaaah Whaaaah Whaaaah!

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.  TEN MORE TIMES.

Ugh…  Really…. thank goodness we have a rountine.  I cannot imagine what bedtime could possibly be like if we did not have such an awesome routine that makes bedtime so easy! 

You know I am not alone… I admit, I am one of thousands of parents who actually purchased Adams Mansbach’s book: Go the F*k to Sleep.  This glorious book written to look like a children’s book yet ovbiously written for parents clearly illustrates the frustration of bedtime routines and how they DON’T work. Experts are ass holes who are experts in pretending to be experts.  They are probably laughing histerically at all the parents who make them rich by buying their books and follow their expert advice while they drink wine and have the nanny put the children to bed.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *