Parenting and personality traits go hand in hand for the most part. For example, I tend to parent with humor most of the time. Unless of course my child has intentionally pushed my button too many times, then I use the Mom’s gone gorilla mad, wildly waving her hands, jumping up and down, and screaming parenting style.
For me, humor works, but there are moments when I need to access the time to be uncomfortable and get serious parenting style. Last week I was talking (via text message, of course) about the “B” word (boys) with my teenage daughter. After giving my two cents on this topic she sent me the following text:
“Is your goal to always say the most awkward and uncomfortable things to me?”
My Response: “No…. My goal is to parent you even when it’s awkward and uncomfortable…”
I didn’t think much about my response initially, but the more I thought about those words the deeper my sense of importance as her mother became. We are bombarded in advertising and television with images of mothers and daughters being best of friends. I admit, I have fantasied about shopping with my teenage daughter ever since she was a baby. Trust me people, an impossible reality.
But the harsh lesson is that I am not her best friend. I am her best ally. I am the one who will lay down my life for her without a second thought. I am leading her even when she does not want to be led. I am the one who will say to her the awkward and uncomfortable things she never wants to hear, because I love her and when I signed up to be a mother, it included standing up for her even when she says she doesn’t want me to.
Parenting is hard, the toughest job I have ever had and ever will have. In a matter of seconds you will go from being loved to being hated (sensitive moms, NO, your kids don’t really hate you). The more kids you have the higher the chance that at any given time, one of your little ones will always be mad at you, for what you said, did, didn’t do, the way you look, the way you smell, the dinner you made, the stupid rules you make, or because they wanted you to button their shirt a different way. The list is never ending.
Parenting styles and how you react can make all the difference in the world (ahem, especially to you Mom). Just remember when things get uncomfortable, do not avoid but confront those awkward and uncomfortable moments with confidence and truth, because this IS what you signed up for when you became a mother.
How do you handle uncomfortable moments with your children? What style have you found works the best or doesn’t work at all?