They are broken.
Not broken like bent and I can jimmy them back into place… Broken like totally smashed and one whole lens is shattered, kind of broken.
Who did this?
Last night just before bed I put my glasses on the TV stand upstairs in my bedroom. My glasses were discovered downstairs this morning by my husband in front of the sliding glass door, they were shattered.
Ovbiously there is a sneaky robber who loves messing with people by breaking into their homes, stealing nothing and breaking their glasses just to be a total asshole. Ok, that may be a little far-fetched.
That leaves only one other thing…
I know it was him. He was pissed at me because last night he was honeying up to me as I was trying to fall asleep and I threw him off my bed. I can totally see him carrying my glasses downstairs, climbing on top of the highest cabinet then dropping my glasses just to seek revenge. I am posting an ad in the paper.
Boone is our cat, named after the character on Lost whom we loved so much; world meet Boone – Boone meet world.
Boone sleeps in the laundry room at night for a number of good reasons. Primarily, because he tries to climb under my covers at night, annoying right? But worst still is that he bites my legs relentlessly. It’s like he’s a man with some sort of sick fetish!
Lately, Boone has sought revenge on me, probably because I won’t allow him to chomp on my legs like Bill on Sookie! Anyhow, when I let him out of the laundry room in the morning I find he’s dragged his pooper scooper and every available dirty sock from the laundry pile into his litter box.
Who does this people! There is cat sh*t and pee in that box. Now I have to dig it out!
During the night Boone also takes his Tidy Cat litter, stands on his hind legs, scoops it up in his hands and throws it wildly around the room. Well, I don’t actually know how he gets it all over the room but I figure there can only be one way. I had enough; I was going to outsmart the dude by replacing his litter with pellet litter! Hah! I showed him…
Or did I…
Apparently the pellet litter was mighty appetizing to my little orange hater. Because two days later, I am all smug in the fact that I don’t have to walk into a laundry room full of tiny Tidy Cat sandstone floors any longer – I open the door to let him out…
And I mean everywhere.
I don’t even know how he could have that much in him. My little exorcist must have stood again on his hind legs in the litter box saying to himself: “Oh, she thought Tidy grits were bad..wait until she gets a load of this!” then he proceeded to projectile vomit all over the room. Again, I cannot guarantee that he said that but really…what else could he possibly have said!
But wait, there is more…. Yesterday when my husband was getting our 2 year old to nap he was lying on the bed and fell asleep with her. Only to be awoken by this violent HISSING sound, he looks up to see the cat face to face with Ann Marie hissing at the sleeping baby! Then, tonight Knight screams from his bed as he was almost asleep, Boone is hissing at me!! Sure as sh*t the devil cat was by his bed sitting there hissing and looking at me like – you wanna go Mofo! Oh… we went!
I cringe to think what he is going to do next. Especially when I finally get his nuggets cut off!
What is your cat nightmare story? Surely I cannot be the only one….