My job is a house cleaner, chef, riot officer, negotiator, doctor, counselor, occasionally a psychiatrist, and an expert finder. This week I had two occasions of 5 minute intervals of free time. A rare occurrence indeed. A true opportunity to look deep inside the think tank and produce a few compelling thoughts. Here it is people…a peak inside my brain:
- What if pets were really aliens. Lets say they were banished to Earth from their planet because they were the laziest aliens ever in the universe. We humans are naïve enough to wait on them hand and foot. Every time I look at my cat and dog they are sleeping. Occasionally, I give then a nudge and lip the word ‘asshole’ while they are sleeping. Am I jealous? Maybe.
- Will I drive like an old person when I am old? How do I prevent myself from smelling like an old person? And is there a way to prevent myself from being confused about everything? I really do love old people…. maybe I have a deep rooted fear of becoming old. You think?
- While in Knight’s classroom for a Christmas party I could not help but wonder how this teacher does this everyday? I was in the classroom for 30 minutes and was hoping the fire alarm would go off so we had to evacuate and I could get away. Maybe there is something wrong with me….
- Why is the moon out while the sun is out?
- Like the whole which came first the chicken or the egg concept…. Do you think entertainers we completely screwed up before they were ever famous? Or do you think fame screwed them up?
And…. my 5 minutes are up….. back to inventorying the house for the next time someone needs help finding their stuff.
I admit I may have been wrong once or twice in my life. In my mind the thought of taking my 3 and 5 year old to Disneyland was an utter nightmare waiting to happen. I realize Disneyland is designed with little ones in mind, but we all know what tired, hungry, and overstimulated 3 and 5 year olds are like. I took a risk and for New Year’s we had the opportunity to do the Disneyland adventure with our kids. I once said, I will NEVER take my kids to Disneyland, I ate those words…
It was the BEST vacation I have ever had.
First off, we road tripped it from our home in Colorado to California. We loaded up the Ford Flex with the greatest educational toys ever – the LeapPad2. These kept the kids entertained (and educationally entertained) for hours in the car. We had a movie player that was rarely used the entire way. And at the end of the vacation before heading back to Colorado we logged onto our LeapFrog account and downloaded new games and books for the ride back. Seriously I love it when I find a toy that is completely worth the price and then some.
The first night we spent in Las Vegas, Ah-Hem….did I mention Vegas is NOT for children. I remember a few years ago commercials that promoted Vegas as a “Family Affair”, clearly the promoters had no children. We drove down the strip at a way-too-slow pace because of all the traffic and stop lights and let me tell you – we could not get out of there fast enough. Knight was giggling in the back seat while watching the electronic billboards of scantily clad women dancing on screen, he was yelling: INAPPROPRIATE…INAPPROPRIATE. Lets just chalk that one up as a teaching moment.
Rise and shine and off we went early in the AM again (early is the best when traveling with little ones). Only 4 hours to go. The kids were beyond excited and I was an anxious wreck sure we were about to embark on countless meltdowns at Disneyland.
Upon arrival the kids were in complete awe, the Disney tagline couldn’t be more true: The Happiest Place On Earth. As we walked along Main Street the kids were nearly speechless. You could literally see their minds working without them saying a single word. They were awestruck.
Next stop, Mickey’s Toontown. We met Mickey, Minnie, Goofy and Pluto. We walked through all the characters houses, took pictures with them and gave each character a great big hug (except there was no way Knight was not going to give Minnie a hug, she is a girl and that is gross). Then the magic began. Knight started asking a barrage of questions. Like, where do you think Mickey and Minnie go grocery shopping? Do you think they have sleepover’s? Do you think they go to the beach for fun? The questions were endless and frankly, downright adorable!
The kids went on strong the whole day, without a single meltdown. From the time we left our house in Colorado until the time we returned home – this vacation goes down as the best vacation ever. I feel blessed to have been able to provide this experience for my children. It is a reminder of how precious our imagination is and the sweet innocence of child’s mind.
What was your best vacation ever? How do you entertain your children on road trips?
You wondering what could honestly be better than sliced bread? How about butter on sliced, fresh out of the oven bread. Oh yeah… the good stuff.
Or if you are 4 and 2 years old – better than bread, or butter or both would be a trip to the local library. For Knight and Ann Marie a trip to the library is equal to going to Target knowing they are getting to pick a new toy. They love it! And our local library ROCKS! The section for the kiddos is actually closed off by double doors from the rest of the library. I am pretty sure it has sound proofing in the walls too. Out with days of embarrassment as your pack of monkeys runs wildly through the library screaming with excitement in the one place in the world that parents are terrified of being called out by the librarian!
They must have about 100 stuffed animals displayed at kid height and actually for the kids to play with throughout the place. I used to HATE going to the library with my Wild Kindom of Knight and Ann Marie. Their tiny stature is totally misleading. Little racers running in opposite directions pulling book after book off the shelf. Leaving me no choice but to act like they are my horrible neighborhood kids that I got stuck babysitting. But this library is like the Mercedes of libraries specifically designed for kids like mine. Spacious, sound proof room, fully loved stuffed animals – some the size of a real tiger or bear, kid educational games with kid size tables and chairs and why of course, shelves and shelves of books. Did I mention another awesome thing about this library, they have a bin at the end of every row for you to place the books that your kids randomly pull off the shelf and you have no idea where it goes nor could you possibly put it back without your kids pulling out 5 more while you do it.
I LOVE this library as much as my kids do… Good Job Broomfield Library.
Where the hell have I been? Nope – not in prison, I know that was the first thing that came to your head. Sorry to disappoint! Really what happened was one night I went into the kitchen for a midnight snack and found E.T. raiding the pantry, I didn’t have any Reeses Pieces so the short, heavy head took me back to his planet where he held me hostage and forced me to wear a Raggedy Ann costume 24/7. My job was to manicure and shine his red tip fingers daily until they were as shiny as Rudolph’s nose.
Or maybe that didn’t happen and Network Solutions had a major issue and they blew up my blog and did not have a backup. Oh well, here is what I have been doing while I was away:
- Moved from Washington State to Colorado – Oh yeah! Do you know they have sunshine on average 300 days a year here?
- Working. Still working at my awesome firm, just from our Colorado office. LOVE my JOB people… not everyone can say that – but I can!
- House hunting, searching for that perfect place in the burbs! And by the way we found it, our new home in ‘Enhancementhood’ should be finished in February. I opted for granite counters throughout so I won’t be in the double D club with all the size zeros. Sacrifices people….
- Bike riding and hiking. Did you know when you move out of the Pacific North Wet you can go outside and do all sorts of fun things!
- And finally, probably LOTS more stuff but nothing as earth shattering as my E.T. abduction.