Parenthood.

This is the single most commonality which unites every parent and places them in a special elite club of: Are you FREAKING kidding me? (or if you have a sailor mouth insert the actual F word here).   The club is not for the weak at heart. There is puke, poop, vomit, and other nastiness that you never entertained possible.

For instance:

The other night just before bed I had Knight go hop in my shower.  “It is time for bed Knight, I holler as I open the door to the shower. What I see will terrorize non-parents, parents, and OCD people everywhere.  Knight turns to me and says, “I am cleaning my butt.”  My momstincts say: “Awesome, honey. Good job getting all the nooks and cranny’s.”  Until suddenly I see it… my bar of FACE SOAP being swiped up and down my 7 year old’s backside like a credit card at the supermarket check out.

Dude!

Every parent who does not have a nanny to do laundry has seen it… the undies in the hamper.  Cleanliness does not set in for children until much older. Apparently teaching a child to wipe their backsides is much more difficult than one might think. Go ahead, insert a #hastag #parentfail here.

Refocus people.

My F-A-C-E.  S-O-A-P!

How long has this practice been going on?  How many mornings have I grabbed that same facial soap bar, rubbing it back and forth across my FACE, completely unaware the night before my 7 yr old was paying for groceries and gas with his backside!

You always hear people say…. I don’t know how kids survive to parenthood.  Seriously?  How do parents survive parenthood?