WHO…. invented the Magic Eraser?  Please identify yourself because I want to give you a Starbucks gift card to say THANK YOU.  I do NOT get endorsements, nor do I do them on my blog – so this is not for the benefit of advertising rather for the benefit of every mother who is sick and tired of scrubbing with all their might to clean their bathrooms.

What is in the Magic Eraser? WHAT is it that makes it so easy to get all the grime off your tub, counter or toilets?  It IS freaking magic!  That is all I have to say about that….

Let’s move onto toothpaste.  Why has no one invented toothpaste for kids that doesn’t turn into cement the moment it leaves the tube and lands on the ceiling, floor, baseboards, light switch, cabinet doors, light bulbs and any other place that mysteriously toothpaste lands.  I long for the day when someone goes on Shark Tank and announces they have revolutionized every mother’s life with easy clean toothpaste!

And finally, can you tell, I was cleaning my kiddo’s bathroom today.  I admit, I have avoided that room of all rooms in our house like it was contaminated and no one should go in there.  Something came over me today and I mustered up the gumption to get out the rubber gloves and tackle the monster.  It was not nearly as bad as I thought (ahem – Magic Eraser) and cleaning the bathroom gave me the very idea of ……  cement-less toothpaste for kids.

While I was on all fours cleaning around the toilet base, I looked behind me and Ze Cow was drinking a glass of wine saying: I’d help, but I don’t have apposable thumbs. Sometimes I hate that cow.  What is Ze Cow?  Click the link – to find out more about my friend Ze Cow.

Cow drinking wine

5 Minutes for Mom: Deep Thoughts

On December 20, 2013, in Crazy Stuff, Mom, by Jennifer McPherson

dog with alien antennasAs we all know having more than 5 minutes to yourself as a mother is beyond rare.

My job is a house cleaner, chef, riot officer, negotiator, doctor, counselor, occasionally a psychiatrist, and an expert finder. This week I had two occasions of 5 minute intervals of free time. A rare occurrence indeed. A true opportunity to look deep inside the think tank and produce a few compelling thoughts. Here it is people…a peak inside my brain:

  1. What if pets were really aliens.  Lets say they were banished to Earth from their planet because they were the laziest aliens ever in the universe. We humans are naïve enough to wait on them hand and foot.  Every time I look at my cat and dog they are sleeping. Occasionally, I give then a nudge and lip the word ‘asshole’ while they are sleeping. Am I jealous? Maybe.
  2. Will I drive like an old person when I am old? How do I prevent myself from smelling like an old person?  And is there a way to prevent myself from being confused about everything? I really do love old people…. maybe I have a deep rooted fear of becoming old. You think?
  3. While in Knight’s classroom for a Christmas party I could not help but wonder how this teacher does this everyday?  I was in the classroom for 30 minutes and was hoping the fire alarm would go off so we had to evacuate and I could get away.  Maybe there is something wrong with me….
  4. Why is the moon out while the sun is out?
  5. Like the whole which came first the chicken or the egg concept…. Do you think entertainers we completely screwed up before they were ever famous? Or do you think fame screwed them up?

And…. my 5 minutes are up…..  back to inventorying the house for the next time someone needs help finding their stuff.